Tuesday, September 29, 2009

planting, watering, reaping

When I was about 17 years old I started seeing a lung doctor (finally, probably should have been referred lllllooooong before then). Her name was Dr. Keenan. This lady was amazing! She listened to all that I had been through and immediately knew how to treat me, and what she thought I had. She thought I had CF (Cystic Fibrosis) and immediately introduced me to Kari Beasly, one of her CF patients who was just a couple years older than me. Turned out that I didn't have CF but I kept in touch with Kari. At this point in my life I knew God but I just wasn't really walking the walk.... People with CF usually die very young, at least they don't make it through their twenties. I knew that God had put her in my life and I was supposed to talk to her about God. I did, but not like I should have, and I knew it. Those few years I knew Kari were very rocky for me and my relationship with God. Finally I made the decision to go to Master's Commission in Decatur Alabama. A couple weeks before I left for Master's Commission Kari passed away. I was devastated because I didn't do what I was supposed to and I knew it. I didn't know if I would see her in heaven. For the next almost 10 years I lived with guilt in the back of my mind that there was a good chance someone I loved was not in heaven and I could have done something about it.
This last year I was in the Emergency Room because I was very sick. I had a respiratory therapist come in and give me a breathing treatment. She was someone who used to come to my house and do at home treatments for me. She also saw Kari during that time. We started talking about church, and God, and I found out that her son is in the ministry. And then somehow we started talking about Kari. She said that she was there when Kari passed away. She also told me that at one point Kari's mom and family had left the room and Kari asked her about God. She asked her if it was too late for her since she was obviously on her last minutes. If she could still receive Jesus even though she hadn't lived for him. And this respiratory therapist ministered to about her the grace God. She prayed the sinner's prayer with her!
I am so thankful that God can fill gaps! The sin in my life had left a huge gap where I should have ministered to my friend. I am sure there were other people planting seeds in her life but I know I was supposed to as well. But the sin in my life made me feel inadequate to do what I knew I should leaving what I thought was a huge gap! But God is faithful and the seeds that were planted were, in the right moment, harvested! Maybe I wasn't a planter, but a water er. Maybe I just added a little water here and there to a seed someone else and planted. And then someone else entirely got to reap such a wonderful harvest.

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